The essential role and function of a husband in marriage is to execute leadership in the relationship by sacrificially serving his wife. Created by God for the unique and distinguished purpose of working and cultivating for the good of creation (Genesis 2:7-8,15), men are called to apply this essential function to the context of their marriages – in how they lead, initiate and pursue in their marriages for the redemptive good of their wives.

While created with fundamental equality in creation in terms of value, worth and capacity to display the glory of God’s image with equal brilliance (Genesis 1:26-27), men and women have been given unique functions in marriage for the purpose of declaring and demonstrating the Gospel through their union.

Despite cultural misconceptions, a husband’s role as leader is not a position of dominance and mastery. Rather, it is a call to lead first by serving first, at all times, for the sanctifying good of his wife. Just as Jesus radically redefined leadership through the lenses of self-denial and sacrifice (Mark 10:45), so too husbands are to put the work of Jesus on display by laying down their lives for the good of their wives.

While the creative call of God on man remains, the capacity of man to function according to his original design has been radically corrupted by sin. Because of the fall rather than working and cultivating for the good of his wife, a man’s sinful disposition creates in him a compulsion to be harsh, domineering, unloving and self-centered. God’s consequential judgment on women in response to the sin of man suggests that rather than seeking her good, a husband will naturally and inevitably work against her as an oppressive, overbearing tyrant (Genesis 3:16). Likewise, in a man’s efforts to work and cultivate in creation he will perpetually face resistance and tension. The result being that in whatever a man seeks to work and cultivate towards it will forever be the source of much pain and struggle for him (Genesis 3:17-19). The essential creation and call on man is forever and perpetually scarred by a corrupted creation which will always stand in opposition to him – including his wife.

It is in this tension, between God’s created design of husbands to work and cultivate for the good of his wife and sin’s utter and complete corruption of that essential function, that the need for Jesus is most evident, and a new and redeemed pursuit of marriage most needed.

In the book of Ephesians Paul calls husbands to love their wives “as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her” (Ephesians 5:25), and continues on in his detailing of this call by describing the redemptive effects of Christ’s love for the church – using words like “sanctify”, “cleansed“, “washing”, “splendor”, “without spot or wrinkle”, “holy”, “without blemish” (Ephesians 5:26-27). Paul uses the Gospel – the sanctifying, cleansing, purifying, reconciling love of Jesus for His people – as the lens through which husbands should seek to love, lead and serve their wives – just like Jesus has. God’s redemptive agenda for husbands is to redeem their essential function in marriage from the corruption of sin and restore it back to its created design. As a closing caveat, Paul explains that God’s purpose in his design of marriage is to declare and demonstrate the Gospel (Ephesians 5:32). In other words, God wants to say something about Jesus’ work of redemption, and He has chosen to use marriage, and more specifically husbands, as a means by which He will communicate.

God’s call on husbands to sacrifice for the sake of their wives stands in direct contrast to their natural disposition of harshness and dominance. When a husband willingly and freely lays his life down for the good of his wife, he does so as a demonstration of God’s redeeming work in him and Jesus’ reconciling love towards His people. He ultimately puts the Gospel on display – the work of Jesus in redeeming all things back to Himself – including marriage.

A husband’s leadership is not an issue of rank or superiority. Rather, it is an attitude of accepting responsibility and sacrificially serving for the redemptive nourishment of his wife. His leadership has nothing to do with any inherent differences in value or worth between men and women, but has everything to do with his understanding of the Gospel. He serves her to the point of death as Jesus has served him in the same manner. Ultimately, a husband’s leadership in marriage, when properly filtered through the grid of the Gospel, demands the laying down of his life for the raising up of his wife’s towards Jesus - that she may know the love of Jesus for her more vividly because of the love her husband has towards her.

Husbands: What kind of leader are you in the home? Are you a harsh, unloving, distant, insensitive, unsupportive bully? In what ways are you seeking to actively lay your life down for the good of your wife? In what areas have you been resistant to do that in? Why?

Join us this Sunday at Woodlands Point as we continue our “Family Defined” Series, where we are exploring how the Gospel bears on marriage, family and parenting. This week we will look at the practical implications for a husband’s role in marriage. Click HERE for time and location info.

Incoming search terms:

• sacrifice for your wife
• how to sacrifice for your wife
• sacrificing for your wife
• sacrificing for your spouse
• who sacrifices more in the marrige the husband of the wife
• unloving and unsupportive husband
• sacrificing in a marriage
• how do nen sacrifice for their wives
• sacraficing things for jesus
• men who sacrifice their work because of their wives

Tags: Acts 29, church in the woodlands tx, gospel, gospel centered church, husbands, marriage, men, the woodlands tx, woodlands point community church

This entry was posted on Wednesday, February 23rd, 2011 at 10:34 am and is filed under Pastor's Blog.